Identifying low self -esteem
You have a low self – esteem when you are not fair to yourself or you neglect your basic needs…, when you treat yourself badly and worry whether you have treated others badly, when you are focus on the negative and expect very little out of your life, when you are reluctant to take on challenges, to put yourself first or to even trust your own opinion, when you are not able to accept compliments naturally and have an exaggerated concern about your image or what the other people think, or neglect your appearance (don’t dress well, keep fit…). When you suffer from social withdrawal and from anxiety or / and emotional turmoil. And, finally, you have a low self – esteem when you lack social skills and self confidence, suffer from depression or deep sadness.
Don’t be so sure
Well, we all know that self-esteem comes from what you think of you, not what other people think of you.
And the problem comes when you are so sure that you don’t worth much and don’t believe the good things the people who loves you try to tell you. Please, doubt your own opinion about yourself, you are better than you think.
No hard feelings, ok?
Resentment is weak and lowers your self-esteem.
Resentment and a low self-esteem are linked together very often. Resentment is the reason why we feel inferior sometimes, the reason why we can’t let go of our failures and therefore we end up believing “we are” a failure.
Just imagine what can happen when a resentful person with a low self- esteem face an important challenging situation. The bad self talk is going to be something like “this is my opportunity, if I blow this it means that I am a looser”. This words put so much pressure in the person self-esteem that he’s likely going to be quite anxious, nervous, scared, worried, restless… The pressure, tension, nervousness are likely to make something goes wrong. This a destructive mental game that can lead you to have a mediocre life because you won’t attempt anything out of fear of failure.
Don’t forget that resentment will lead to a negative internal talk. So, watch out for resentment and when you see it, let it go. Go through life easily. Do what you can, but do not have any expectation of the outcome. Even if you mess up, just acknowledge that you messed up, but don’t resent yourself.
Depend on you… and you only
Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.
Sometimes one tends to forget that self-esteem is not related with the amount of failures or success one has in life, it’s related with a conception of oneself regardless what one has to go trough in life. Besides, when one has a positive internal chat, when one is kind to oneself and when one is more concern about improving, not because one think is bad but because it wants to be better, then things tend to go better.
Productive achievement is a consequence and an expression of health and self-esteem, not its cause.
Of course, it’s not only about a positive thinking but if you consider yourself not worth of anything good, it’s not likely you are going to work your ass off to get the best life has to offer, you might even sabotage your chances only to prove yourself you are right thinking you are unworthy.
Don’t worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.
5 Tips to boost your self-esteem
- 1. Take care of yourself and your appearance but don’t focus only on that, you’re much more than a body!
- Get rid of the perfectionism.
- Ditch the negative self talk.
- Be fair to yourself and others.
- Believe you deserve the best you can get and even more.