When I first started writing this blog I hadn’t a clear purpose. I just wanted to experience a new thing, I wanted to prove myself that I can engage with something and make it work, I wanted to challenge myself and succeed, and over all I wanted to share a vital project in order to push myself further. I didn’t want to hide anything because I didn’t want to have anything to hide.
It’s unbelievable how to commit with something like this can make a difference. One could say, and me included in other times, that even if you have a personal blog you are not accountable to anybody, that you can hide things, lie or just project an image that might not necessarily be the real person. But I really don’t see the purpose in that.
Having this blog has forced me to do, to reflect and to push myself into uncomfortable situations in order to be better or closer to the one I wanted to be.
During this year I did and moved and experienced more than in my whole life… Well, that’s not completely true. I did experience a lot of things before the birth of this blog but, let’s say I was less aware… The thing now is that I reflect of everything I do, probably because I realize I have to blog about it (or I must… still have doubts what verb I need to use when the obligation comes from oneself… ahhh, grammar, I love you and hate you at the same time). And even though I’ve always kind of kept a diary, I never felt that sense of “obligation” whereas the fact that having to press “publish” makes me have it.
I am more aware of everything that goes around my life at the moment, the good and the bad stuff, and being that aware makes the bad stuff more unbearable. Knowing that there is something wrong or improvable or different from what I want makes it it more present and real and, therefore, forces me to react and act to solve it.
The overall is positive for me. Of course it is! I didn’t quit. I keep writing and I still have things to say and although I haven’t being as constant and regular as I wanted to be, I’m still pretty pleased with the number of posts at the end of the year. 61 post! Hey, I might not have written regularly once a week, same day every week. I just can’t stick to that strictness but, somehow, don’t ask me how, I managed to publish more than 52 posts!!! Anyway, I proved to myself what I wanted to prove. Constancy and organization are now way better than they used to be. I learned about myself and I shared everything without restrictions. A shared journey. Only for those reasons, this year of blogging has been worth it.
But the thing is that I got more than I expected. I have followers! And, believe me in this too, I’ve never thought anybody that didn’t know me in person or was already a friend would read my ramblings. I’m so thankful for the readers and even more for the commenters. There were times where these comments were all that I need to make my day. I’ve never felt really alone since I started with this and that is a precious gift.