I used to think that it was a bad thing of me, a weakness of character being that adaptable and “absorbent”. I thought that I tend to loose myself when I spent a lot of time with someone else, either a friend or a romantic partner, and, somehow I was not wrong.
But the thing is that I think that I am not loosing my personality but to enriching it. I am a mixture of the people that have shared my life and have being a part of it. Some of them they have left a trace and the ones that didn’t are the ones that I don’t even remember. What a loss it would be to be impervious to other teachings and influences! That’s why I feel proud of this mix in me. It’s not only what you learn from other people, is what you integrate into your life too.
Obviously, being a sponge has its risks too. If you don’t know who you are or what you want you might get lost between different personalities and end up not recognizing who you are.
However I do believe that one surround oneself with like minded people or with people one consider can contribute somehow in ourselves. Or at least that’s my case. I realized that I choose the kind of people I spend time with. I rather be alone that spending time with someone I am not interested in. It’s not necessary that I am only with people I have things in common, not at all, but I want to be with people I learn from, open minded, passionate, deep, tolerant, thoughtful, compassionate… so I don’t see a problem by letting myself being “influenced” byt those kind of people.
It’s like picking a career in the university and not incorporating the learnings.
Knowledge and wisdom come from oneself as well from others. In the same way as one is the result of the education, society, environment as much as of the individual self. Interacting with people must have a purpose beyond socializing or entertainment, there’s is this learning from others, merging in us what we consider positive and discard what is not: some things will be of use only temporarily, others will be assimilated in our lives like a patchwork.