If there is something I learn during my life is the harm caused by keeping things to ourselves.
Sometimes we confuse being polite or respectful with not being honest with ourselves and the others.
Unsaid doesn’t mean unfelt.
When you don’t say what you feel towards someone that has disappointed you under the excuse that you don’t want to make a big deal about it because you already let it go but you still feel hurt, you are lying. You might have forgiven that person but he hurt you and he deserves to know.
Let go once you’ve spoken.
I had a very unhealthy relationship with some friends for a long time. They weren’t happy with my behavior sometimes, I hadn’t a clue and I wasn’t happy with some of their reactions and I didn’t tell them neither. Every time I didn’t like something I let it go without manifesting my bother. Result: since nobody knew that behavior upset me, there were no chance of rectification, which predispose the situation to happen again and again until you burst against that person.
Speak your heart out
Sometimes I think I am to transparent. It’s very rare I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I discovered that I can’t stand the people that keep things to themselves because you are never sure what they are thinking and that leaves you in a disadvantage. I feel very unsure in those situations, I don’t trust the other person and in consequence I don’t show myself as I am. That not being completely honest and open creates a state of disbelief in me and I create a wall between the other person and me. All of this leads to a lack of communication and therefore a lack of connection.
Since what I look for is to connect with the people, I need to do what I would like the other person did towards me. Share your feelings, what you like and what upsets you, be honest with the other person, speak your heart out and don’t leave anything unsaid, if that person really cares about you, would be thankful to know you better.
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.–Harriet Beecher Stowe