Reflections

The power of the unsaid

If there is something I learn during my life is the harm caused by keeping things to ourselves.

Sometimes we confuse being polite or respectful with not being honest with ourselves and the others.

Unsaid doesn’t mean unfelt.

When you don’t say what you feel towards someone that has disappointed you under the excuse that you don’t want to make a big deal about it because you already let it go but you still feel hurt, you are lying. You might have forgiven that person but he hurt you and he deserves to know.

Let go once you’ve spoken.

I had a very unhealthy relationship with some friends for a long time. They weren’t happy with my behavior sometimes, I hadn’t a clue and I wasn’t happy with some of their reactions and I didn’t tell them neither. Every time I didn’t like something I let it go without manifesting my bother. Result: since nobody knew that behavior upset me, there were no chance of rectification, which predispose the situation to happen again and again until you burst against that person.

Speak your heart out

Sometimes I think I am to transparent. It’s very rare I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I discovered that I can’t stand the people that keep things to themselves because you are never sure what they are thinking and that leaves you in a disadvantage. I feel very unsure in those situations, I don’t trust the other person and in consequence I don’t show myself as I am. That not being completely honest and open creates a state of disbelief in me and I create a wall between the other person and me. All of this leads to a lack of communication and therefore a lack of connection.

Since what I look for is to connect with the people, I need to do what I would like the other person did towards me. Share your feelings, what you like and what upsets you, be honest with the other person, speak your heart out and don’t leave anything unsaid, if that person really cares about you, would be thankful to know you better.

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.–Harriet Beecher Stowe

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2 thoughts on “The power of the unsaid

  1. Thanks for this thought-provoking post. I’m having issues with my throat chakra right now (actually I have for a long time), which is all about expression, clarity, spaciousness.

    I always try to make people happy (I sense you are maybe the same) and this means I find it hard to say “I’m not interested”. If I get a message from someone who wants to meet me but whom I don’t want to meet, I find it hard not to agree to the meeting. But this is dumb. I’m wasting the time of both of us.

    I think it partly lies in fear of being disliked. So I choose to look this fear in the eyes and say “bring it on”. I don’t need everyone to like me.

    • I understand and it’s true I always try to make people happy but more and more I’m being honest with myself, my time is precious as much as the other person, that’s why I try to express my feelings directly as well, saves time and avoids misunderstandings. I experience this fear of being disliked but since trying to please everybody didn’t bring me any deep connections with people, I think it was about time to be completely honest and show myself as I am which is being more rewarding…

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