That’s the sentence that started it all…
It amazed me when I hear someone saying “you are this way or that way” to someone else, because I think that knowing someone fully to the extent to be able to define that person seems impossible to me.
- Not always we show ourselves completely (I know very few people that are completely transparent).
- Even though we are genuine, we might not show ourselves all at once.
- Sometimes the image we project of ourselves doesn’t match the interior.
- We change and evolve.
What I want to say with this is that I find quite daring to advice someone to do or not do something attending to what that person thinks is good for you. Nobody knows better than yourself what is good for you and I’m talking about adults responsible of their own lives.
I am a responsible adult (most of the times) and, when I have explained to my people that I wanted to leave home and move to another country where I haven’t been before, I have received only discouraging advices, all of them uttered in honor of their love towards me. I don’t have any doubt about that love but I do have doubts that theses advices are the best for me. I know all these people care about me and they don’t want me to fail but the truth is I’m not scared of failing.
The thing about unwanted advices is that sometimes they cut wings, they create doubts, they make you feel guilty or crazy or irresponsible… Well, that was what these unwanted advices made me feel anyway…
What I want to say is:
- To the unwanted advices givers: If you see someone taking a big risk and you are worried about that person, tell her what you think if you want, talk about the pros and the cons, but don’t discourage her. You might consider unlikely her to succeed, but you’re not 100% sure, are you?
- To the unwanted advices receiver: If someone just tells you the horrible words “you shouldn’t”, “don’t do”, “you’re wrong” regarding your dreams or future plans, listen to them, take the positive of it (if there is some), reflect about what they said, but if after all reflection you still think you want to take the risk, follow your gut, don’t let them to have doubts or make you feel like a crazy, irresponsible old person that should resign with the mediocre. You deserve the best and you know what is best for you!
PS: I’m guilty of posting another video… yep. But I left it at the end this time. Is here, below, if you want to watch it, but I warn you is 9 minutes long and quite chaotic. I really need to learn how to produce a good speech. Toastmasters, I need you!